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Recognizing Your Unwellness
by Nikki and Anne Heart ♥ October 16, 2025
*Although we wrote this post together, we have chosen to present the following through Nikki’s eyes.
Recognizing the subtle roots of unwellness
It took me years to realize that identifying the real source of physical or emotional distress isn’t always straightforward. In fact, it’s often deceptively subtle.
As a person who has experienced negative thoughts throughout my life, I only focused on the obvious noticeable things as triggers—looking for the loudest symptom, not the quietest signal.
But the truth is, triggers for mental or physical unwellness can be hidden. Sometimes it’s not the major life event—it’s the small, seemingly insignificant moment that sets things in motion.
Here are a few examples that might resonate:
- A tense exchange with a loved one or colleague
- Eating a big piece of cake
- Running late for work or school
- A nagging uncertainty—did I lock the door?
I could list hundreds more, but you probably get the idea.
Even though these aren’t dramatic events, they can be triggers to your negative thoughts.
What I’ve come to understand is that recognizing these triggers requires a different kind of awareness—one that’s observant, curious, and willing to look beneath the surface. It’s not always obvious, and that’s okay. The process of noticing is part of the healing.
Recognizing the invisible triggers
When I first began my prescription drug treatment plan, I was open about my negative thoughts, low self-esteem, and the strain I felt in friendships. I was trying to be honest, hoping that naming these struggles would help untangle them.
It was at this time that my healthcare provider asked me a question that stuck with me: “Does your head ever race out of nowhere?” I replied yes and stated that I noticed it happening most often in the shower when I was washing my hair.
Unfortunately, she never discussed my answer but simply noted my yes response and took no interest in when it happened.
However, over time I began to realize how important when things happen were. I noticed patterns and recognized certain chemical exposures—things I once considered harmless or routine—were triggering intense mental reactions. That racing feeling in the shower? It wasn’t random. It was tied to the shampoos and conditioners I was using.
This realization was a turning point. It taught me that wellness isn’t just about managing symptoms, it’s also about understanding the environment around you and how your body responds to it. The more I paid attention, the more I uncovered.
Now, I know that my system reacts to a range of substances. Some of my most consistent triggers include:
- Fragrances
- Ingredients in pharmaceutical products
- Bleach
- Propane gas
- Preservatives
- Dyes
- Sugar
- Gluten
- Glutamate
- Nickel
- Colbalt
- Balsum of Peru
- Cannabis smell
Recognizing that awareness can be a big challenge
One of the most persistent challenges I face is simply being acknowledged—that my sensitivities aren’t imagined, exaggerated, or “just in my head,” but real contributors to both mental and physical unwellness.
As extreme sanitizing practices became the norm in public spaces, my concern grew. What felt like a safety measure for many became a source of distress for me. I remember sitting in a doctor’s office when the staff began spraying disinfectant on chairs around me—without warning, without pause. My mom kindly asked them to stop, explaining my sensitivities. They didn’t even look up. No apology. No consideration. Just silence.
That moment wasn’t just uncomfortable—it was invalidating. And it wasn’t the first time or only time.
There’s a widespread lack of awareness, even among healthcare professionals, about how chemical sensitivities can manifest. Too often, these reactions are dismissed and not treated as real. That dismissal creates a ripple effect: people stop speaking up. They internalize their discomfort and stop speaking about it.
But these sensitivities are real. They deserve recognition, respect, and thoughtful accommodation. Whether it’s the scent of a cleaning product, the ingredients in a medication, or the preservatives in food—these exposures can trigger genuine physical and mental unwellness and when they’re ignored, it’s not just frustrating—it’s harmful.
I’ve learned to trust my body’s signals, even when others don’t. I’ve learned to minimize exposure, to ask questions, to read labels, and to speak up—even when it’s uncomfortable. Because wellness isn’t just about what’s visible. It’s about honoring what’s felt.
Recognizing the impact of exposures
Over time, I’ve come to understand that exposure—even to things that seem harmless—can quietly accumulate in my system and lead to negative effects. It’s not always immediate, but the buildup matters.
One of my triggers: glutamate
- When I consume too much glutamate, I experience clear physical and mental symptoms.
- In order to eliminate foods with glutamate, I eat gluten-free.
- But when I rely heavily on gluten-free, I notice a dip in my mood and emotional well-being.
Through trial and reflection, I’ve found that balance—not elimination—is key. Some amount of gluten in my diet supports both my physical and emotional wellness.
Another of my triggers: bleach
- When I inhale bleach, I can experience confusion and other neurological symptoms.
- These negative effects can last for a while depending on the severity of the exposure.
The first time I truly grasped how chemical exposures could trigger intense reactions both physically and mentally took place several years ago during a horseback riding lesson. This experience made the chemical impact unmistakable clear.
During my lesson. I had been performing well—confident, focused, and landing several successful jumps. But then, something shifted.
Unbeknownst to me, the barn workers had begun sanitizing the area with bleach.
As I approached a jump, I felt a wave of disorientation and sudden confusion. My coordination faltered. My instructor sensed something was wrong and helped me bring the horse to a stop.
By then, I had lost the ability to communicate clearly. My thoughts were muddled, and I was severely confused. I didn’t understand what was happening neither did my instructor.
Fortunately, my mom was there and recognized the impact the bleach was having on me.
Even after leaving the barn, the negative impact from the bleach smell lasted for a day later.
What I’ve Learned:
- Negative effects aren’t always instant. They can sneak in gradually, making them harder to trace.
- Even when reactions are immediate, their impact can linger—sometimes longer than expected.
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“It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of a wave pressure.”
-Albert Einstein-
Note: All information in “Nikki’s Story and Mom’s Story” are based on detail journals covering seven years of Nikki’s life on prescription drugs.
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